Where Am I Now?

My tummy tuck experience has been interesting, and it's not over yet! Post-tummy tuck, I had a long, tedious recovery, and then my husband was stationed somewhere else (Army) so we moved 2 months post surgery. I became sedentary and had trouble getting back into my strict workout and diet plan that I had so passionately followed for two years. Sadly, I've gained 20lbs. The doctor told me if I gained any weight, it would not return to areas where I had lipo, because those fat cells had been removed. He was right! My ass is huge! It all went to my butt and thighs and my stomach is still flat as ever. I wasn't happy with my weight gain, and just as I got back to my diet and exercise, another shocker...I'M PREGNANT! We're excited for this blessing, but I'm nervous about how it will affect my tuck. My doctor feels confident that as tight as I was bound, my muscles should contract nicely after baby. We shall see.
Overall, I was and still am happy with the results of the tummy tuck and lipo. I still have days where I have weird sensations and my muscles feel sore. Also, the feeling is not completely back in my stomach, but I do have tingling sensations from time to time.
I'm so happy to see that my blog has been beneficial, and I hope to update more often. Thank you for reading!

P.S.--The photo was 5 months post-op.

UPDATE: Please see my comment below as Kimrich11 for an update! :-)

Long Time No Blog

It's been a while, I know. I got very frustrated with my surgery, recurrent infections, and just not feeling like myself. I abandoned my blog and pouted for a little while.

 

I'm happy to say now that I am FINALLY past the plateau and I feel great!

 

For so long it felt like my recovery had plateaued off, and I was no longer progressing. The swelling was ever-present, and I kept getting minor infections. After a few rounds of different antibiotics, I finally got the infections subdued. I still have some drainage from my belly button, but the doctor said I can expect that for a little while longer. I still have swelling as well, but it's not nearly as noticable as it was.

 

I'm still not in a size 8, but I'm happy with the way that I look stomach-wise. It's firm, flat, and I am happy with the results. The scar looks bad right now, but I know within a couple of years it will be almost completely gone. I've had other surgeries (medically required) and the scars from those are practically gone four years later.

 

I've finally been released to start back exercising! I am super happy about this. Exercising and pushing myself was how I lost 60 lbs. in the first place. My goal now is to lose about 15 additional pounds and tone up. I feel very confident that I can be perfectly happy with my appearance within 6 months.

 

My goal is to post my 12 week post-op before and after pictures for you guys. I got very down one day, so my husband called and requested my post-op pics from the surgeon. After looking at what I looked like before my surgery, I quickly got over my pity party and was super happy with the results. I think you guys will equally agree that the transformation has been amazing! Thos pics will be up within the next couple of weeks.

 

Day 23 Post-Op- Pic Update

I woke up this morning feeling great. Since my surgery, I've gotten into the habit of checking my stomach first thing--usually just for swelling. (Mind you, I went into surgery a 10/12 and came out a freaking 14/16 due to swelling! I'm still waiting to be that size 8 my doctor told me I would be.) This morning I automatically put my hand on my garment when I woke up. It felt different. Good different. It felt flatter. I immediately tore out of my garment to look in the mirror.

I almost cried. My stomach is ALMOST flat and the swelling was down soooo much! Yes, the incisions and bruising is still there, but wow! I went to bed swollen like all heck and woke up looking and feeling really good. I can't wait for the next couple of months for my muscles to heal and to see the final results.

Try not to be too critical of my pic.
I never said I was a super-model. Just flatter now....With a booty ;)

You'll see a lot of the swelling is around the panty line. I purposely wore panties with more coverage to cover the incision. That little "lump" in the front will be the last place the swelling will go down (according to my doctor).

My Belly Button is Leaking. Really.

The past week has been super crazy!

Last Friday night was Shane's birthday get together, and boy did I pay for staying out late the next day. My abdomen got very swollen (more than normal), and I was exhausted. The kids had a state livestock show with 4-H, so we went to that the next day. It was all I could do to sit there for 5 hours. I slept the whole way home. All 3 hours.

On Sunday, I noticed my belly button was looking a bit gross. (I should preface this part by saying that you get a "new" belly button when you get a tummy tuck. They cut around your belly button and then make a new hole and sew it back in once your skin is tight.)Actually, I noticed it on Thursday but just figured if was part of the healing process. By Sunday, though, it was looking A LOT worse. I decided that since I didn't have to be at work on Monday until noon, I'd go see my doctor first thing Monday morning. No such luck, of course! Dr. Vann wouldn't be in until Monday afternoon. I didn't want to miss work, so I thought I'd just stop by urgent care and let them take a look. They automatically flipped out and called my surgeon's office even though I TOLD them he wasn't there. The nurse was though and told them to give me a shot of Rocephrin right away and for me to be there at 2. Period. So, I had to miss work and spent the whole day being poked and prodded.

Good news is that the infection seems to be clearing up.

I almost forgot-I can sleep in my bed again!!! It feels so good to stretch out after only being able to sleep in a recliner for 3 weeks.

Work is making my stomach do swelling tricks. I wake up with minimal swelling and after being at work one hour I am supah puffy. I look like I'm 3 months preggers. Once I'm off and come home and relax for about 45 min., the swelling starts to subside. I think I can just about swell on command now. ;)

I will say that each day is a little better. This surgery was no joke. And I won't lie, there have been days that were so terrible that I wished I hadn't had it done. But then I think about how miserable I was before and I'm glad I did it. I still have a few months to go through the whole healing process. Hopefully, it's a little more smooth than the first 3 weeks have been.

Party Too Hard and Pay for It

Today was my precious hubs 35th birthday, and I wanted it to be absolutely amazing. He's spent HALF of the last 10 years in either Iraq or Afghanistan on his birthday, or away from home at some type of training. As a matter of a fact, we've never celebrated his birthday on his actual birthday before. This was the first time EVER!!!


I planned a surprise party for him at a local Mexican restaurant that has an excellent, fun atmosphere. We had about a dozen or so people show up to celebrate with us. We arrived at the restaurant at 7PM. I had two margaritas and felt fine. At around 9 or 9:30 we headed over to the Irish pub to continue our fun. I was the DD, so I only had one more beer there and then cut it off. By 11, I was dying. I had be up since 7AM and going full force all day taking care of various things. I think being up and moving so much (even though I felt great) finally caught up with my still healing body. I started swelling and hurting around 1030 or 11. I finally had to ask Shane to wrap it up around 1130. I couldn't tolerate it anymore. I had to come home and put up my feet and take something for the pain.

I'm hoping that I didn't push myself too much and set myself back or have to pay for it tomorrow. Even if I am dragging a little tomorrow, it will be worth it. I wanted this to be his best birthday ever. He so deserves it, and I am so thankful for him!

And a big, BIG thanks to our great friends who came out to celebrate. They're all sweethearts! Thanks guys! You're the best!

The Compression Garment

Today, I took off my compression garment, which we'll lovingly refer to as just CG from now on, to wash. I realized how important the CG is, and that I've never addressed it in one of my posts.

As soon as the surgery is over, and before you're even awake, your CG will be put on. It's kind of like a cross between spanx and a corset. It helps with the swelling, circulation, and to keep everything as compressed and in place as possible. For the first week or so, the CG will NEVER come off. It's kind of odd--you get very used to it and it doesn't even bother you. Once you have the ok from your doctor, you can take it off to shower and to wash it. It's very strange, because when you are actually able to take it off, you won't want to! You'll feel naked, vulnerable, and insecure without it! You will also notice that swelling will start immediately if you have it off for more than about 15 minutes. While walking around without my CG on, I honestly feel like my incision is going to rip open and my uterus is gong to fall out or something! LOL! I can't wait to shimmy back into that thing. It's my security blanket.

After 2-4 weeks, your doctor will let you transition into spanx. It provides the pressure and compression needed but not as much as the CG. I still have a little too much swelling to transition at this point. Hopefully, next week I will be able to though, because the CG is a pain to take off and on.

While I'm here, I will say that today is day 17 post-op, and it's the first day that I have really felt great! I am alllllllmost completely upright; I still walk with a slight hunch. My stamina had been good today, and overall, I feel great. My only complaint at this point is the slight swelling. Other than that, I'd say I've finally reached the downward climb in recovery :)

Money, Money, Money

So, this blog entry is kind of a two-parter. The first part is about money, and the second part is about wishing I would have never had this done.

 

 

Several people have asked me how much my procedure cost. Either because they are considering it themselves and no doctor will even give you a ballpark figure unless you come in for a consultation, or just because they are being plain nosey. :) I've been fairly private about the cost, but then I figured, 'You know, I searched high and low to find a true cost on the internet instead of just an "average". I wanted to know what people actually paid for the procedure. It was frustrating not to find the information.' So, for those of you considering and those of you nosey, I am going to tell you the cost.

 

Here is the breakdown:

 

Tummy tuck procedure:$ 6,000

Repair/tightening of the stomach muscles: $900

Liposuction of the lubar rolls or "love handles": $1200

Anesthesia fee and over night stay: $ 1200

 

Grand total: $9,300

 

Go ahead. Judge. Say it was a waste of money. That it's vain to spend that  much money on self-appearance. Whatever. The fact is, that's what it cost. The thing is, if you've have kids, there's no point in getting a tummy tuck without getting the muscles repaired. Then, you'll still have a "pooch" with tight skin instead of loose skin. So, you can't cut out the muscle repair. Then there's the love handles. Can you imagine how ridiculous you would look with a nice, washboard stomach and two big love handles on each side? I mean, what's the point? So, once again, a cost that you can't eliminate. Of course the anesthesia fee is necesssary, because you sure as hell don't want to be awake for the procedure! And because the surgery is so extensive, and to be honest, could have some major complications, you have to stay overnight in the hospital or surgical center. It's not optional.

 

 

I will say that we only paid $8,200, because our very nice surgeon gave us a military discount :)

 

 

I was going to make this entry a two-parter, but I think for now, I'll leave it at this. I'll do another entry later explaining a moment that I had where I honest to goodness had wished I had never had it done. It passed, but for the sake of sharing this whole experience, I'll tell the story....later.

I. Am. So. Tired.

So, here lately I have been really exhausted. Who am I kidding? I've felt exhausted since the surgery. Everyone said that once I started moving around more that I would get my energy back. Ive been moving as much as possible, and I'm still really tired all the time. Well, today at work, I couldn't stand for more than 10 minutes before needing to take a 2 minute rest. This evening, Shane and I went to CVS, and I had to sit in the isle like a moron to catch my breath. I feel great in all other aspects; I just have no stamina yet.

I got off at lunch today and came home and did some tidying up for about 20 minutes. It's the first time I've done housework since my surgery! (It's Day 14 Post-Op by the way!) After that I crashed. But after a 1 hour power nap, I was good to go again.

I still have to walk bent over, but I noticed today I was walking more upright than I previously have been walking.

Just out of curiosity, I put on my bathing suit bottoms today to see if my scar would show. Sadly, about 2 inches on each side will show if I wear a bikini. I'm sure over time it will lighten up so much it will barely be noticeable; plus I'd rather have a little scar showing than that flabby mess that I used to have :)

Overall, everything is healing nicely. I still have some swelling, but that's normal. My doctor told me that I won't actually be able to see the true, final results for another few months--just in time for our cruise! I'm actually so swollen right now that my pants I wore before the surgery won't button LOL but at least I'm FLAT!

I don't regret for a minute having this done. I think my only regret is that I wasn't prepared for the healing process: the time, the details, etc. I was told the basics of what to expect and no more. And as I've said before, a strong support system through this is so important, and I'm so thankful I've had that in my husband.

Until next time!

Happy Day; Painful Day

I went back to work today. To be honest, I was soooo worried. I knew that I couldn't make it the whole day. Heck, I could barely make it to the mailbox and back without needing a two hour nap. Shane woke me up at 5:00 this morning when he left for work to wish me a good day and give me a kiss. I dozed off and on after he left worrying myself to death. I wanted to do a good job at work. I didn't want to appear weak or like I didn't want to be there. I finally got up and dressed the best that I could. I got to work at 9AM, and Mrs. Marcy saw that I was having a little trouble getting around, so she told me I would only be working until lunch for the first couple of days until my body could get adjusted and my strength could build up.  It was an answer to my prayers! The thing is, I took half of a pain pill before going to work, and I felt great! I got things accomplished this morning, and was really happy being at work. Everything timed out perfectly, because the pain medication had worn off when it was time for me to leave, and my back was really hurting.
When I left at lunch, I had 7 missed calls, 2 text messages, and 3 voicemails from my sweet Shane. He worries about me so much. He had been trying to get in touch with me to make sure I was doing ok and wasn't having any problems. He had already devised a plan to come get me if he had to. I'm telling you, I am one blessed lady. He is precious.
I was also great seeing my work friends today! I have met some sweet ladies through working at RHM and was glad to get to reunite with them today. Everyone had positive, encouraging things to say, and I was genuinely happy to see them!Oh, and I love my Mrs. Jan! She never has anything negative to say. (Unless we're having one of our complaint sessions hehe) She brightens the whole room with her personality, and she has had nothing but positive things to say about my choice to have this procedure done. Ms. Jan has really helped me feel good about myself, and I love her for that! She is so beautiful herself--inside and out!

Now, the bad part...I got off work and called the doctors office. I told them that I was off early and that I had only drained 6cc per drain in the past 12 hours. They told me that I could go ahead and come in to have my drains removed! Yay!....NOT! No one told me how painful it would be. As I explained in a previous blog entry, there were two drains sewn into two small incisions. Both were right below my tummy tuck incision and right above my vagina. Shane was not able to drive me today, because he was still at work. When I told the nurse I was driving myself she said, "I really wish someone could drive you, because you'll need some pain medication before hand. But if you really want to go ahead and come today, that's fine." So, anyway, back to the removal. The nurse unstitched the drains and then explained to me that it would hurt when she pulled the drains out; especially since I wasn't able to take any pain meds. She told me to take a deep breath and hold it, and she would remove the drain on the count of three. When she pulled the first drain out, I could feel my skin that had grown to the drain tearing away from it. It hurt. Bad. I cried and almost fainted. I got so pale that she waited about five minutes before removing the second drain. When I say that the drain removal was painful, I mean painful as in the most painful part of the whole tummy tuck experience. More painful than the IV needles. More painful than the sore muscles. More painful than my back aches. It was horrible. I couldn't believe in all of the things I had read online that no one had mentioned how painful it would be. So, I'm telling you all now: IT WILL HURT WHEN YOU HAVE YOUR DRAINS REMOVED! If you haven't taken the time to "share" an entry from my blog, please share this one. I want people to be aware that there is no anesthsia or sedative for drain removal and people should be prepared for this part of the healing process.

I also had my belly button stitches removed. That whole region is still numb, so I didn't feel that at all. Overall, the doc said everything is looking great. The swelling is going down. The left side is already looking so amazing, and the right side is still a little puffy but getting there.

The military ball is in two weeks. I'm so excited to go try on dresses this weekend! This whole procedure has been so very challenging, and even though I have about lost my mind at times, I wouldn't change a thing. I am so proud, and today was a huge milestone!

A Little Bit of Kindness

Today has been a good day! My left drain has almost completely stopped, and the right drain is slowing down a little too! I feel very confident that they will come out on Monday or Wednesday.

The only complaint I have today is this weird burning sensation on my right side. It literally feels like hot coals have been poured into my pants. It's kind of on the side where I had lipo. I'm wondering if this is a normal side effect. It only lasts for about 30 seconds at a time. I suppose I'll ask the doctor about it tomorrow.

I'm trying to take it easy today, so the kids and I are doing activities that require little activity on my part. I want to have as much energy as possible for going back to work tomorrow. Currently, they are having a nerf gun war with Shane, and I'm the spy for them LOL. Since its raining, we offered to take them to the movies today, but they said they would rather play at home. Surprising? Yes. Disappointment? No. That just saved me like 30 bucks! It makes me feel good knowing they are happy and content just playing at home.

I'm about to get my clothes ready for work tomorrow. I hate to tell 'em, but I will be wearing my black Under Armour pants to work tomorrow. That's all I can fit in comfortably until the drains come out! ;)

I received a message today from someone I went to school with. She told me how much my blog has inspired her and how much she admires me. I won't go into detail, but her words meant so very much to me and they even made me cry. All I have ever wanted was to make a difference to someone. To inspire them, motivate them, teach them, support them, or just let them know they are loved. We only get one life, and even though I have made my fair share of bad decisions and mistakes, I feel like I have finally grown up. All I want when my time here on earth is over is to be remembered as that person that loved everyone and exhibited the true meaning of kindness and love. It makes my heart happy to know that I have been able to use this experience not only to inform others but inspire them!

A Little Explaining to Do

Greetings at 3AM! I can't sleep. I've already text a friend, written two letters to family members to send via snail mail, watched The Notebook and cried like a fool. All is left to do is blog.

Today, someone asked why I titled my blog 'Doing What Makes You Happy...'. Well, I do realize having the tummy tuck procedure was something to help make ME happy, but the purpose of my blog is to inspire others to do what will ultimately make them happy.
Wanna dye your hair purple? Well, if it makes you happy, then go for it.
Wanna let your gypsy soul loose and backpack across a country or continent? Do it.
Want to have a cosmetic procedure done to help your self-esteem and perception?
Then by all means, DO IT!

Not only is this blog to help others understand what to expect if they opt to have a tummy tuck done; it's also here to inspire people to do what will make them happy!

Sometimes we worry so much about making the world around us happy, that we forget that our own happiness is important, too.

Another comment that bothered me was, "Well, look at _____. She had a baby and didn't need a tummy tuck. You could have exercised it off." Well, friend, not everyone is genetically the same. I exercised my behind off, and as I've said before, lost 60 pounds. However, my stomach barely shrunk at all! We are not all the same, and I feel very blessed to have been able to have this procedure performed. When my 6 week recovery period is up, I will be back at it exercising. My final goal is to have my arms and legs toned by summer to match my new stomach. And ya know what, I'm gonna do it! :-)

It's late, and I'm taking my tired behind to bed now...

Cans and Can'ts

For today's blog, I decided to make a list of cans (things that I am once again able to do) and can'ts (things that I still can't do independently or at all).

CANS:
Go to the restroom independently
Get dressed (although I have to take about a 30 minute recuperation rest afterwards)
Move around the house pretty easily
Clean my own drain lines and belly button

CAN'TS:
Do laundry or housework
Shower or bathe independently
Lift anything
Stand upright
Be active for more than about 30 minutes (my back starts killing me and I get exhausted)
Sleep in the bed (still in the recliner)


I got a gift card for Christmas, so I ordered a really cute, form fitting sweater dress. Never in a million years could I have worn that before. It came today, and Shane helped me put it on. Even though I was hunched over and had a couple of bulges from the drain bags, I cried. I cried because I had a smooth, beautiful hourglass figure. I couldn't believe it was me, and I couldn't believe it was my dress.

This afternoon, we took the kids to the park. Bless Shane, he is so good with them and I felt like I at least needed to go with them to watch them play. After about 20 minutes at the park, Shane had to bring me home because my back and stomach muscles started aching. It was nice to get out for some fresh air though :)

I'm seeing progress daily and my spirits are better than yesterday. Shane has been such a blessing through this. He has done everything in his power to help me get better and to help with the kids. I'm so glad that I get to call this precious man my husband.

There Will Come a Time...

I wasn't going to write another post today, but I felt it was appropriate to share...

I've been sponge bathing for over a week now. Luckily, my nurse told me that even though my drains haven't been removed, I could put some waterproof bandages over the spots where my drains are sewn in and take a real shower today! *Happy Dance!* By the time I got out of my garment, got my drains untangled, and finally got to the shower, I was SO tired! Shane got a plastic step stool for me to sit on in the shower. I relished in the hot water and scrubbed from head to toe and washed my hair. Getting out of the shower was a different story. At my last appointment, the nurse gave me a new garment for the day when I could finally take a shower--nothing like a clean garment to go with a clean body! However, getting into that new garment was a different story. (This is the part of the story where I have to mention a very important point. My doctor told me I would eventually have a day where it was just all too much. The surgery, the healing, everything. My emotions would go haywire, and I would lose it.) So, back to the story--while trying to get into the garment, one of my drain lines was accidentally snagged. And by snagged I mean almost completely ripped out. I screamed. I don't mean just kind of yelled. I screamed like I was dying. And then the crying started. And I had that moment Dr. Vann talked about. And I cried. And cried. And to be honest, I'm still crying as I type this. I got frustrated at Shane and threw an open ginger ale at his head. Then I cried cause I felt bad because he's been so good to me. He was mad to start with but quickly figured out that all I needed was to be snuggled and to be told everything would be ok.
I'm so worried about going to work Monday. I'm just praying for patience from my boss and strength from The Lord to get through the day.
All of the emotions possible are weighing down on me tonight. It feels like I'm getting no where. Looking in the mirror, I'm frustrated because I have a pooch that's full of fluid that has to drain before my tubes can come out. My love handles are swollen from the lipo. I can't even wear regular pants yet. I'm just ready to see the real results. And to be honest, I'm a little angry because I have worked my ass off dieting, walking, running, and striving to he beautiful and fit for the last 2 years and I still don't see the results I want to see. I sure hope tomorrow is better.

Day 10 Post-Op: The Grand Reveal

Today's post is a bit short. I feel really well today. My energy is returning, the pain is subsiding, and the swelling is going down a lot. To celebrate day 10, I decided to post a pic! Keep in mind, there is still some swelling; especially in the "love handles". It takes longer for the swelling from the lipo to go down. Nonetheless, it's very evident that in a few short weeks my tummy will be COMPLETELY flat :) So, here's the pic from 10 days post op. Hope it doesn't make you cringe too much! ;)

The Ugly Truth

This post is a bit late. I haven't felt well today at all, so it will probably be short and sweet.

I didn't sleep well last night because of my sutures hurting. I am sew up from the inside, so it's hard to pin point exactly what's hurting. It feels like something is poking or cutting me every time I move.

I slept off and on until lunch time and woke up with a bad stomachache. I won't go into all of the disgusting details, but I ended up finding out that I was impacted. After three hours of being on the phone with my nurse, Shane going to the pharmacy for supplies, and me crying in pain, the, um, "problem", was finally relieved. I told Shane that he needed to pass on a little information to the M.I. department: next time they are interrogating terrorists, all they have to do is sew up their rectum for about 10 days and they will be BEGGING to tell what they know! Hehe...I am attempting to make light of this situation, but it really was one of the worst predicaments I have ever been in.

Word from the wise:  One dosage of milk of magnesia per day will NOT cut it after this surgery. I took it thinking it was keeping everything regulated due to all of the meds I was on, but there is way too much medicine that has to be taken. I can't stress the importance of taking two doses of some type of laxative or stool softener TWICE per day. You will thank me for it in the long run.

Finally, around 5PM, I was able to go to sleep and get some rest. I woke up at 6:15, and Shane was being so sweet. He knew I had a really bad day, and asked what would make me happy. I took advantage of the situation and sent him to Wendy's for a frosty :)

When Shane unzipped my garment about 30 minutes ago, I was really happy to see that the infection from my belly button seems to be draining less and the swelling is looking good.

I had planned to touch on a couple of other things tonight about how your eating habits and abilities will change after the surgery. However, I'm just plain tired, and that will have to wait until tomrrow :)

Lastly, I would love to give another "shout out" to Dr. Vann and the AMAZING nurses at Savannah Plastic Surgery. Just thinking about how wonderful they have been to me makes me tear up. They have been so compassionate, helpful, and gone beyond the call of duty to help me in any way possible. I just appreciate them so much, and they have really made me appreciate nurses and what they do.

The Reality of a Tummy Tuck

The truth is, a tummy tuck is NOT a minor surgery. Not by any means at all. Your doctor will typically tell you that after 10 days you can return to work. The sad truth is that at 10 days post-op, it will take everything in you to return to work. I am supposed to go back to work the day after tomorrow, but my doctor informed me today that I would not be going back to work until Monday at the earliest. So, tomorrow, I will be calling my boss to explain the situation and pray that I still have the job.

In all honesty, you need a full 14 days to truly recover enough to go back to work. Until I experienced this surgery for myself, I had no idea how invasive and detailed it was. It has taken a toll on me physically and mentally that I was not prepared for.

If you can't take two full weeks off of work and you don't have someone that can stay with you 24/7 for the first week, DO NOT HAVE THIS PROCEDURE DONE.

When I went to the doctor today, I was very disappointed that he did not remove my drains. I'm still draining a total of about 60cc per day, and he won't remove the drains until I'm between 15cc-20cc per day. My belly button also has greenish drainage, which indicated that it's becoming infected in that area. Shane now has to clean it and apply antibiotic ointment twice per day until I go back for my next appointment. On a positive note, Dr. Vann told me that he can't wait for the swelling to go down so that we can see the actual results. He's estimating that once all of the fluid and swelling is gone, I'll be about a size 8 with NO love handles and a nice flat tummy. :)

After my appointment today, it was evident that my strength is not where it needs to be to return to work. I was exhausted by the time I left the doctor's office, and actually started crying as I was checking out with the nurse as the front desk. My legs were shaking, my back was hurting, and I felt like I was going to collapse. The nurse had to take me to the car in a wheelchair.  I am sharing these details with you, because I hope that I am helping those considering this procedure understand the complexity of the situation and all that it entails. So, if you know someone thinking about getting a tummy tuck, please share the link to my blog with them!

Beauty Is Only Skin Deep; Ugly is to the Core

Today has been a very strange day. I felt okay when I woke up this morning. I slept all night without waking up for pain meds, but when I did wake up, oh boy did I need one! My mobility is getting better by the day. Considering I'm only 7 days post-surgery, I think I'm making steady progress. I am walking around independently, even though I still can't stand up straight. I'm starting to get frustrated because my energy level is still rock bottom. I went into the kitchen today for about 15 minutes to try to show Shane how to get the traditional black-eyed peas going for our New Years dinner. After that 15 minutes, I was so exhausted and hurting so badly that I was in tears. I literally had to take a nap to recover from that. The swelling is still pretty bad too. It's not only my stomach and sides that's swollen; my arms, legs, toes, pretty much everything, is swollen.
My drainage has decreased dramatically. I've only pulled off about 10cc from each side today, so I'm pretty positive the doctor will remove the tubes at my appointment tomorrow. I'm ready for the next couple of weeks to pass so that I can finally see the results of the tuck. Everything is so swollen right now that it's hard to see any results. My doctor assures me, though, that when I do see the results I will be completely blown away!

I've debated for a while now about whether or not to write this second part of this particular blog entry. I decided, though, that this is MY blog and MY experience, and I am going to include everything about it.

If you are friends with me on Facebook, you probably saw the picture of me walking independently yesterday. Shane took that picture, because it was a big milestone for me. I was proud of it, and even though I looked pretty rough and was swollen like crazy, I decided to post it. I had lots of encouraging words and comments from friends. One friend even told me how hot my boobs were looking in the pic ;) However, later in the night, some people were sitting around talking about me and making jokes. They felt it would be funny to post a mean comment. So, I woke up this morning to, 'Well, you're still fat.'. The reasoning for that post was that they were drinking and just saying random mean things to people on Facebook. (This was his personal explanation to me.) However, what this person did not know is that I have struggled with my weight my whole life. I was "chunky" in middle school and still to this day remember the  names of the boys who picked on me. By the time I got to high school, I was sick of it. I basically starved myself and lost enough weight to wear a size 8. I was content with that and stayed at an 8 until I had my kids. After than, I gained all of the weight back and then some. (You can read my first blog entry about all of that for a recap.) Today, that rude persons words cut me to my core. The past few days I have been daydreaming about this summer when I will finally be able to wear a bikini again, and looking online at new outfits for work. All of that came crashing down with that one little sentence. For a brief moment, I let that person steal my happiness. I felt like all of the hard work over the past 2 years, all of the pain I've endured the past week, and all of the money my husband has spent was completely worthless. He made me feel ugly. But then, my friends came to the rescue, and reminded me of how hard I've worked, how beautiful I am, and how I am not the ugly one. *HE* is ugly. He is ugly on the inside for making me feel that way.

Because of the way I have been treated by various people over the years and let their words scar my soul, I made a resolution for this new year. My resolution is to never use my words to hurt people. That my words may always be purposeful, meaningful, and kind. That I may always be an encouragement, a friend, and a good advice giver. And to a certain special someone, may I always have smartass comebacks to make them smile when needed. ;) Lastly, I resolve to never let my words to cause anyone pain, because my heart is better and kinder than that.