There Will Come a Time...

I wasn't going to write another post today, but I felt it was appropriate to share...

I've been sponge bathing for over a week now. Luckily, my nurse told me that even though my drains haven't been removed, I could put some waterproof bandages over the spots where my drains are sewn in and take a real shower today! *Happy Dance!* By the time I got out of my garment, got my drains untangled, and finally got to the shower, I was SO tired! Shane got a plastic step stool for me to sit on in the shower. I relished in the hot water and scrubbed from head to toe and washed my hair. Getting out of the shower was a different story. At my last appointment, the nurse gave me a new garment for the day when I could finally take a shower--nothing like a clean garment to go with a clean body! However, getting into that new garment was a different story. (This is the part of the story where I have to mention a very important point. My doctor told me I would eventually have a day where it was just all too much. The surgery, the healing, everything. My emotions would go haywire, and I would lose it.) So, back to the story--while trying to get into the garment, one of my drain lines was accidentally snagged. And by snagged I mean almost completely ripped out. I screamed. I don't mean just kind of yelled. I screamed like I was dying. And then the crying started. And I had that moment Dr. Vann talked about. And I cried. And cried. And to be honest, I'm still crying as I type this. I got frustrated at Shane and threw an open ginger ale at his head. Then I cried cause I felt bad because he's been so good to me. He was mad to start with but quickly figured out that all I needed was to be snuggled and to be told everything would be ok.
I'm so worried about going to work Monday. I'm just praying for patience from my boss and strength from The Lord to get through the day.
All of the emotions possible are weighing down on me tonight. It feels like I'm getting no where. Looking in the mirror, I'm frustrated because I have a pooch that's full of fluid that has to drain before my tubes can come out. My love handles are swollen from the lipo. I can't even wear regular pants yet. I'm just ready to see the real results. And to be honest, I'm a little angry because I have worked my ass off dieting, walking, running, and striving to he beautiful and fit for the last 2 years and I still don't see the results I want to see. I sure hope tomorrow is better.